:: I shall believe ::

Brief comments and thoughts of a straight-forward girl...

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:: Thursday, September 28, 2006 ::
Hey... it's been a while since I last wrote.

Today I am at a Campinas site auditing. Comingo back to this city is very strange. I mean, strange feelings are coming out. I passed by my old house today, yesterday I saw some places that I've been with my Father... And it made me think you know. I think I was never so close to him as those 6 months in Campinas. I had more memories with him in this city than in my own home. So... I cherish this city for this at least.

Now that I am married, we are closer too. He calls me often, and like, yesterday, he sent me a cell msn to call him. We talked like 15 minutes and it seemed he didn't want to hang up. So he kept making questions about everything. He was interested to know things about me, about my audit, how was I doing, what was i feeling.

I guess... when people that we love are far away, we... try to get closer. I mean, we were far away before, even living in the same house, because of problems, because of time (or my full agenda let's say) etc. But now that it's evident, we feel like doing something about it. Maybe that's it?

Anyway, it's strange. I am noticing things here, in the city, at the site... that I didn't notice before. And I ask myself if I didn't notice it before or if it has never been there...

I hope I get back soon. I hope I finish what I have to do here and go home to my husband. I miss him. I miss him so much. When I logged into my computer this morning and opened outlook, the first email had a message written in the preview pane "oi amor" and I almost choked.

Things are for the best. I am sure everything is going to turn out fine.


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 9:20 AM ::
...
:: Monday, September 18, 2006 ::
The wedding was perfect.

There not a bit to complain. Everything was great and I had a good time. I woke up 8am that morning and Fitti and I went to the church. We talked to the priest a bit and set the final arrangements. Then we drove me to the saloon where I had my "bride's day". It was very nice, I had a lot of rest there, massage sessions and this sort of thing.

After everyting was done, I got dressed and went to the church - to get married. It was really fantastic. I can't help waiting to watch the Dvd and see it all over again. The party was also excellent and every body had a great deal of fun. As I said, I can't complain...

My dress was beautiful and the vail was also exactly the way I imagined. So everything went fine and it was like a dream.

The honey moon was also perfect. We had a lot of fun, we eat a lot of food, we had some rest. Although I wish we had more time like this. 6 days is like nothing.

When we came back, a lot of things to unpack, presents to unpack, mess to clean... Too many things to do, no time at all to really do them. This is stressful. But... I am happy. I feel the same way when I was in Campinas, building our house.... it's great.


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 10:52 PM ::
...
:: Sunday, August 27, 2006 ::
Ok... Few days left now.

I am in Tampa right now. There are some rumors that a hurricane might show up in a couple of weeks. Thank goodness I'll be out of here.

I had a good flight, some troubles in the customs (now it's like hell going through customes in US) but everything went fine. I didn't loose my connection flight after all.

I met a nice old man in the plain and he told me about his career. He says he is an accountant and was interested to see that I was an auditor. After he retired, he became a consultant he says. A financial consultant. I wonder if I would have enough knowledge to do something similar when the time comes.

About the wedding, most things are set but poor Fitti has many things to do in Brazil, while I'm here at Tampa. I hope everything goes fine. I miss him already. It was difficult to hang up the phone today.

It seems tomorrow we will have at dinner the cash award session... I am excited about that and anxious. What about it??? What will people say? Did I really win a price???

Now that I am alone here, I keep thinking about the wedding every minute. I am becoming a bit nervous now. I want everything to go fine. I want to have this perfect honey moon and I want to take many pictures with Fitti. He wont have to ever worry about pictures anymore. He will have plenty of them. Many many pictures... together, with our families, with our friends... Many pictures... As long as we both shall live...


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 12:07 PM ::
...
:: Friday, August 25, 2006 ::
7 days left to my wedding...

I am not anxious exactly, but I am very excited. Tomorrow I fly to US and I come back the day before my wedding. I am very excited about this trip also. I won a award for my work during this audit cycle. I am very happy, because this is totally unexpected. During the conference in US we will have a special event for the nominees that won an award to receive the award (in front of more than 500 people!). I´ve heard it´s a cash award, but anyway, from those 500 auditors, I was one of the 15 people that got an award. So I am very happy. I will be able to say that I planned my wedding, finished my MBA and got an award from my audit job, everything at the same time.

My terapist says that she is very impressed that I am handlying this quite well and keeping my level of productivity to do everything I need to do. I am impressed with myself. Although I am very stressed, I am resisting without getting sick (or too much sick LOL).

There are many things to do yet, but most of them are related to my new home. To make it "liveble" or more liveble. Anyway, things will get in shape real soon, I believe that.

Now, almost all set for the wedding! See you!


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 11:20 PM ::
...
:: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 ::
And that might be all for some time, folks...


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 11:34 PM ::
...
Hoje eu trabalhei 14 horas. Até que não foi muito, se eu comparar com outros dias que eu trabalhei 16 até 18 horas! Está realmente uma loucura. Mas pelo menos está bem mais interessante do que eu fazia antes e estou aprendendo novas coisas, conhecendo novos processos. Eu sinto que estou no caminha da evolução novamente. Antes eu estava perdida.

Eu estou escrevendo hoje especialmente por um motivo. Comentar um dos sonhos que eu tive esta noite que me emocionou muito. Na verdade eu tive dois sonhos.

1) Eu sonhei que eu estava conversando com algumas pessoas, que estavam perguntando se eu tinha gostado de mudar de função, se tinha valido a pena. Eu disse no sonho, claramente, que eu tinha me arrependido. Quando eu acordei, isso chegou a me chocar, porque eu sempre fico pensando se valeu ou não a pena, mas nunca eu chego a uma conclusão. Se por um lado eu não tenho mais qualidade de vida, por outro eu estou aprendendo e tendo perspectiva de carreira. Eu fiquei pensando esta manha... será que no meu subconsciente, eu acredito que não valeu a pena? Se for sim a resposta, eu preciso reavaliar meus conceitos.

2) O sonho que me emocionou. Eu sonhei que era o dia do casamento. Eu e o Felipe estavamos casando. Foi a primeira vez que eu sonho com o dia do casamento e que realmente não aconteceu nada de ruim. Foi um casamento lindo. A gente escreveu votos, estavamos alegres, as pessoas vieram nos cumprimentar... estavam todos sorrindo... Eu e o Felipe estavamos felizes, e todos nos rodiavam para dar parabéns. A atmosfera era magnifica, de muita alegria, felicidade. As pessoas que eu gosto estavam sinceramente do meu lado, participando da minha alegria. Eu fiquei feliz com o sonho. Eu me senti feliz. E eu pensei que... realmente... não importa se eu tenho ou não docinhos, ou se a festa vai sair perfeita, ou se vão falar que eu não organizei direito. Talvez eu estivesse perdendo a perspectiva. O que importa é o dia em si, a alegria que eu vou sentir, as pessoas certas participando da nossa alegria sinceramente... isto que importa. Isso me deixou muito mais leve e eu sinto que eu posso encarar as coisas com mais tranquilidade agora. Eu sinto que estou mais confiante e que tudo realmente vai dar certo, porque já é certo.

Em suma, amigos, colegas, amor e visitantes: só dei uma passadinha aqui para compartilhar esses pensamentos, ainda que seja de forma breve.

Essa é a última semana da auditoria no site da Vila Leopoldina e, quem sabe, vou poder voltar às minhas rotinas normais no site corporativo. Eu tentei fazer o melhor que pude. Eu espero que seja reconhecido. Se não for, eu reconheço que eu fiz um bom trabalho e qualquer outro auditor no mundo não teria se dedicado tanto e feito as análises com tanta minúcia e detalhe.


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 11:13 PM ::
...
:: Tuesday, July 11, 2006 ::
Things are complicated for me lately, that's why I am not around.

Never begin with apologies, it's what they say, but the fact is that I have so much to tell that I feel like I don't have what to tell at all. Like if it's too much work to tell everything.

First, work (as usual). Crazy work. Working late hours, sleeping less than ever, missing lunch lots of times, being too tired to do anything else but sleep during free time. That's it in a nutshell. I can't say I am learning a lot, as I was expecting I would, but I also can't say I am not learning anything at all. It's better than last year's situation, at least (in terms of learning).

Ok, learning, the next one. My MBA is also crazy and I had my last class of the 2 semester yesterday. (after that I worked until 2am, so tiring...). I am happy that I'll have 3 weeks of vacation. But actually is 3 weeks so we can study for the tests. I am crazy about it. There is this difficult test, I never get the time to study for it, it's a lot of studying to do, really crazy. I am getting crazy, so much worried I am. Not even talking about it...

Wedding. Things are getting on shape, but we are behind schedule as usual. Our invitations are not ready yet. We also don't have sweets and we didn't decide the music pieces to play during cerimony and during party, and I didn't decide decoration flowers, bouquet and this kind of stuff. We didn't by the drinking stuff (only whisky) and... I guess that's it. Tomorrow Fitti will see his outfit too.

One thing that is cool, but at the same time source of worries is the fact that I will travel on 26th august to USA and come back by 1st September. I have to attend a conference. It's mandatory and there was no negotiation about that. I really would use that week to pick up my dress (and take the last test), go to the salloon, this kind of stuff. Or just try to relax, I don't know.

See? My life is kind of crazy and I don't have much free time left. But at least I have my house almost ready, my wedding almost ready, a job, nice family, great husband, great resume... I have a future. I am happy that things are difficult, but at least they are difficult for a reason.

I am not sure if I will be able to write any soon. I will try to write before my wedding for sure. I would say I'll write more often, but that's not in my expectations... and not because I don't want to, simply because I really don't have any time left.

The honey moon is so expected! I will have a week for relaxation at least...!

Sorry for any mistakes, I won't bother checking ABC... precious time... my precious...


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 10:08 PM ::
...
:: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 ::
I failed one of my MBA classes. Presence. Or lack of it so to speak. I'm so upset.

Besides that, things are doing "almost" fine. I am very tired, because working so many hours everyday is really VERY tiring. That's why I am unsure how long will I keep up with the good work. Tired people eventually start making mistakes, because they are too tired to think, right?

Anyway, as to the wedding, I AM screwed. I mean, there are many things to do, less than 90 days and... where is my time being spent? Right, at the office. I can't manage wedding stuff from the office, can I? LOL

During these last days we received our bed. It's pretty nice. And we also bought our home a computer. And soon (hopefully) our furniture will arrive. And so I will have to go through wedding gift lists and this sort of things.

Fitti is doing fine, but he's also working very hard. We both are, because we have debts to commit to you know, LOL!!! So we must work hard to get our wages and pay the debts. It's somehow frustrating to spend all the money, but as he mentioned yesterday, it's for our HOUSE, it's our home, it's more than investment, it's our life. Well, it was not like this but that's what he meant.

See you guys.

Oh... wait... by the way... I am working on an investigation. It's so exciting! It's my first one. Of course I cannot talk about it with anyone, because all I do know is more confidential then ever, but I am really so excited! I mean, I am really happy I made this decision and left my old business.


:: Posted by Eternal Safiry :: 1:54 PM ::
...